I get told all the time "You have more friends than most people your age". People think I'm social and have all these friends because I talk to a lot of different people. In my eyes, I have a lot of acquaintances, but very few real friends. It's hard for me to really get to know people because most of the time I think I'm being annoying and try not to push too far. To make friends you have to know what they are thinking, feeling, make eye contact, and know when it's your turn to talk. That isn't easy for me. I am 21 and still obsess over my stuffed animals. To neurotypicals this may be viewed as "weird" or "childish," but to someone on the spectrum it's comforting. For me personally, it's comforting knowing I don't have to guess what my stuffed animals are thinking or if they're judging me. My stuffed animals aren't ever going to walk out on me because I'm "too much". I think that is why so many people on the spectrum rely more on inanimate objects than humans.
Neurotypicals have to realize how hard it is for someone on the spectrum to socialize or interact with others. I am Hispanic and a lot of my family is from Miami, where it is very common to hug and kiss friends and family on the cheek. I have a really hard time hugging people back because I get uncomfortable. It feels like someone has control over me. Obviously, the person who is touching me can't read my mind, so it may just come off as me being rude even if that's not my intention. I also have a hard time showing my emotions, along with understanding others emotions. People tend to think I'm angry a lot of the time because I don't show a lot of facial expressions. I don't really pick up on social cues, so it seems like I don't care when someone is upset. People have gotten annoyed at me for asking questions over and over again or having sudden meltdowns. It is really difficult for me to interact with someone new.
I can't speak for others on the spectrum, but personally when I am meeting someone new I get so much anxiety. Neurotypicals tend to think it's due to the new situation or new person and while that is a part of the issue; it is also the anxiety of how I look to the outsider. I fidget, I don't look people in the eye, I pick at my hair a lot, I am picky, I don't do well with being touched, loud noises bother me, I don't pick up on social cues, and I don't show a lot of emotion. These aren't things neurotypicals have to worry about, so they don't always think about them when dealing with a person with autism. The reason my stuffed animals are so important to me is that I don't have to worry about any of this with them. I don't have to mask who I really am when I'm around stuffed animals. They make me feel safe. I know they will always be there for me.
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